


Seasons Change

by Vampnessa



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, F/F, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:05:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampnessa/pseuds/Vampnessa
Summary: As her first summer in Pelican Town comes to an end, Farmer Vanessa reflects on the changing seasons and the changes taking place in her life.





	Seasons Change

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fan-fiction ever, I hope it doesn't completely suck

The earth was still alive, but the town felt like it was dying already.

It was quiet, even for a Sunday afternoon. Usually there were a few townsfolk walking about, but today, there was nobody. Vanessa didn’t like it; it was like they had all gone into hibernation, like the rest of the world would soon be doing, leaving her to face the cold, dark, draining winter by herself - just like she had had to in the city. She didn’t want to think about this, but there were still five hours until the festival started, so she had to pick something to distract herself. Spa or mines? The spa would definitely put her at ease, but…she was afraid of running out of copper to make bars for Maru. And now that they were official, she really couldn’t let her down. Mines it is. 

Vanessa didn’t have any snacks with her, so she knew she had to be careful not to exert herself. The last thing she needed was to pass out in the mines on the day of the festival – she wouldn’t be found for ages. Not that anyone would go looking for her on a normal day, anyways. Maybe Maru would; she could at least hope for that now. Maru…as she climbed down the rusty old ladder to the mines, Vanessa began to daydream about their next meeting. As much as she didn’t want to “celebrate” the end of summer, at least Maru would be at the festival. That alone made it worth going. Vanessa imagined Maru running up to her as she arrived, grabbing her by the hand, pulling her off to the edge of the pier. 

Absentmindedly, the real Vanessa began to work at a piece of stone. *Whack, whack, whack.*

They sit down together, just close enough that their arms are brushing. Silence, but the kind of silence that is filled with words, with emotions. Vanessa tentatively leans over and rests her head on Maru’s shoulder (although she knew she wouldn't have the courage to do that in reality). Maru smiles and puts an arm around her, causing her stomach to flip both in her daydream and in the present moment. 

*Whack, whack, whack.*

“It’s beautiful," daydream Vanessa says, looking out at the reflection of the moonlight on the water and the stars dotting the sky.

“Yeah, it is,” Maru smiles excitedly. “Just…just like you.” 

Daydream Vanessa jerks up her head to stare into Maru’s eyes. Real Vanessa knew that that’s not really how it would go – Maru would probably start spouting off space knowledge – but shhhh, this was *her* daydream. 

*Whack, whack, whack.*

“Me?” daydream Vanessa stutters. “I’m not…you really…huh?”

Maru smiles fondly, but her face twitches nervously at the same time. There’s a moment of hesitation, in which Vanessa feels confused, but then Maru starts to move her head towards hers…

And suddenly, Vanessa was on her knees. Woah, ok, maybe that daydream got a little too intense. What was she going to do if/when they actually had their first kiss? She shook her head, but found that doing so made her incredibly dizzy. Taking a breath, she looked up from the rock she had been hitting to find that the corners of her vision were starting to go black. Uh oh. How long had she been in here? She was afraid to look at her watch, but when she did, her worst fears were confirmed, and her stomach dropped the length of the mine elevator shaft going from the top floor to the tenth floor.

“8:50?!” she exclaimed aloud. “Holy Kracko!” She stood up, causing her to sway on her feet. She grabbed the mine wall for support. If she left the mine right now and ran straight to the beach, she might make it there exactly by 10:00…but taking just one step nearly caused her to fall again. It felt like the whole cave was tilting back and forth as more and more of her vision grew black. She would have to go back home and eating something; she would never make it to the beach like this. Which meant she really had to book it.

By the power of anxiety and adrenaline alone, Vanessa managed to climb out of the mines and run back to her farm. She certainly didn’t run in a straight line, and may have hit a few trees, but that was irrelevant. When she got to the front steps of her home, she desperately twisted the doorknob a few times, only twenty-five percent aware of what she was actually doing; the thinking part of her brain had shut down by this point, and all that was left was screaming. Her body was acting on its own accord, and it wasn’t all that smart. She eventually managed to get into her house, and when she did, the first step she took forward saw her land face-first on the ground, limbs sprawled out in all directions.

Vanessa lay still as a wave of heat washed over her and everything continued to spin, even though she closed her eyes. She let a groan escape her. This was met by a soft “mew” from a few feet away.

“Miso…” Vanessa muttered, too out of it to deal with the cat, but at the same time, grateful in some part of her brain that she wasn’t completely alone. Luckily, Miso didn’t seem to want to be dealt with; she merely nuzzled Vanessa’s arm gently. “Go on, it’s alright, get up,” she seemed to be saying. And she was right; Vanessa had to get up. For Maru. She forced herself to crawl over to her food chest and push it open. Sitting on her knees, she sifted through it and pulled out the last few handfuls of blueberries left from her most recent harvest. She gobbled them down, allowed a minute for the sugar to kick in, and then pushed herself to her feet and ran out the door. She didn’t want to know what time it is.

As she passed by Pierre’s store, she allowed herself to slow to a brisk walk and took a moment to breathe in the crisp night air. Finally, she was capable of thinking (and walking) straight again. She noticed Abigail walking in the same direction as her and, though she avoided eye contact as usual, felt a tiny bit of relief start to untangle the knot in her stomach. At least she wasn’t the only one who was late. When the beach was in sight, she finally allowed herself to check her watch. 10:50. Never mind, the knot was back again. She had never been this late to anything in her entire life. What was wrong with her? What was everyone going to say? She hoped people wouldn’t comment and make jokes; it really wasn’t funny at all, and she would have no idea how to respond. Ugggh. She would have to do her best to slip in unnoticed.

But as she stepped onto the sand and took in the scene, she felt a strange wave of calm rush over her. It was dark and quiet, the only light coming from small candles floating on rafts in the water, and the only noise being the sound of the ocean itself. The town members were standing spread out along the shoreline and the edges of the pier, starring out into the sea in apparent deep reflection. The serenity combined with the ocean air was incredibly refreshing, and Vanessa felt like all the earlier chaos had taken place in another lifetime. It felt like a new beginning, but also like an end; the presence of autumn was practically tangible, even without the chilly breeze. Pushing away that thought, Vanessa made her way towards her favourite part of the beach, glad that the darkness was concealing her from the gazes of others. She smiled at the sight of the shallow pools of ocean water and coral among the rocks, remembering all the times in the past month that she ran down and found rainbow shells there. She smiled even bigger when she saw her girlfriend – girlfriend…the word still felt so novel and exciting – standing in front of these pools with her family.

Vanessa ran up behind Maru, her heart racing. She stood there for a few long moments, trying to decide on something to say, but as a flock of butterflies released in her stomach she settled for a gentle tap on the shoulder, hoping she wasn’t startling her.

Maru turned and a smile spread on her face, causing Vanessa’s heart to warm. “Hi Vanessa,” Maru said. “I’m glad you made it.”

“Yeah, uh, sorry I’m late, I was, like…” I was in the mines and I lost track of time? That made her sound like some sort of mining addict. “I got caught up with some work. And then I had to eat.” She couldn’t say she had sort of passed out – that would bring way too much attention and questions to her, especially since Maru’s parents were standing right there. Oh, it looked like they had already noticed her.

“Hello Vanessa,” Robin gave her a friendly smile and wave.

“Hi,” Vanessa smiled and gave a small wave back.

“Hey kiddo,” Demetrius grinned. “Don’t work too hard, okay?”

“Come on dad, she’s not a kid,” Maru groaned, looking embarrassed.

Vanessa actually didn’t mind – while she was still on more formal terms with Robin, she had a fairly strong relationship with Demetrius. Bringing him all those “specimens” for his biology studies had really paid off – not to mention she found him easy to talk to and much less anxiety-inducing than some other members of the town. Was it weird to sort of mentally adopt your girlfriend’s dad as your own dad? It couldn’t be the weirdest thing people have thought about other people’s dads. Anyways, Vanessa wasn’t sure how to respond, but Demetrius had her covered. 

“You’re right Maru, I’m sorry. Fairest Lady Vanessa, please do ensure that you do not overwork thyself on thy farm.” He spoke in a fake formal voice that caused Vanessa to giggle, and Maru to roll her eyes with exasperation.

A cricket chirped two notes, high and clear, that rang throughout the beach. Maru shuffled a few steps away from her parents, and Vanessa followed. “It’s kind of cold, actually,” Maru said with a shudder. “I guess fall is right around the corner.”

If Vanessa was cool, she would put her arms around Maru to warm her up or something, but she wasn’t cool at all. “Yeah, it’s pretty chilly,” she agreed as a shiver ran through her herself. A moment of silence. Oh gosh, she couldn’t even carry a conversation with her own girlfriend about the weather. What was wrong with her? Why did Maru even like her anyways? She was soooo lame. 

“D…do you like fall?” Vanessa forced herself to ask, so her girlfriend didn’t dump her for being a hopeless boring moron.

“I prefer summer” – well, that made two of them – “because I can stay out looking at the stars at night,” Maru said. “Fall is too cold. I charted some really cool constellations this summer – oh, but I’m sure you don’t care about that.”

“Of course I do!” Vanessa exclaimed. She cared about anything Maru had to say – she thought it was adorable when she got excited. The night they had stayed out together looking through Maru’s telescope at the planets had been one of the happiest nights of her life. It had made her feel…special. “Can…are they visible tonight? Can you show me?”

“Sure!” Maru exclaimed with a wide grin. “They’re easier to see through my telescope, but we have a decent view from where we are now.” Vanessa felt something brush the back of her hand, and she glanced down to see Maru’s hand discreetly trying to wrap around hers. Breaking into an idiotically wide smile, she grabbed her hand and held it tight. Hey, this wasn’t even going that much differently from her daydream! Since when did that happen?

“Ok, see that star up there?” Maru asked, pointing up into the sky. Vanessa located the particularly bright star in question and nodded. “Now if you connect it to that one, and then that one…” Vanessa followed Maru’s hand with her eyes as she used her index finger to trace a line between various stars. It was strangely calming, almost hypnotizing. “…then you have the Ursa Major, the Great Bear!”

Vanessa blinked. She couldn’t quite see it, but she didn’t want to say that because it would make her sound stupid. She starred at the sky a bit longer and eventually made out the shape Maru was referring to, but… “Why is it called a bear, though?” The question came out before she could really decide if it was a good thing to say or not. “I mean, it’s really cool, but I don’t think it looks like a bear.”

“What do you think it looks like, then?” Maru asked, and she sounded amused, thank Yoba. 

“Like…” she studied it a bit more, trying to think of a good way to describe it. “Ok, if you start with, like, that point as the nose, and that long thing up there as the tail, then it kind of looks like an…an anteater, but if you start with the long tail thing as the head, then it looks like a giraffe.”

Maru stared at the group of stars for a second, thinking, and then suddenly burst into laughter. “Oh my gosh, you’re right!” she exclaimed. “I’ll never see it the same way again!”

“Right!” Vanessa chimed, laughing as well. “It’s totally an anteater and a giraffe. A…um…giraffe-eater! No, no, that sounds like a thing that eats giraffes. Maybe, like, a…”

“Giraffe-eater!” Maru exclaimed in an even stronger fit of giggles. “No, that’s too funny, we have to call it that.”

“Ok,” Vanessa smiled, proud that she had actually been able to make Maru laugh. “It is now the giraffe-eater constellation.”

“Maru, Vanessa, look!” Robin suddenly exclaimed, pointing towards the pier. “Mayor Lewis just released the lantern boat!”

The two of them turned their heads just in time to see Mayor Lewis stepping back from the edge of the pier. A small wooden boat containing a red lantern began to float away from the docks, carried by the ocean current. Vanessa watched the light become smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the distance. She felt the wave of sad nostalgia and dread that had been coming and going all day wash over her again. The light was disappearing, leaving only darkness; it was just like what would soon be happening in real life.

“Hey,” Maru said, nudging her gently in a way that gave her butterflies once again. “I got so carried away talking about stars – as usual, heh, typical me – that I never asked you how you liked fall.”

How did she like fall? How did she like to see the vibrant green world disappear, to wake up not to sunshine and birds but to frost and silence, to have fall turn to winter and bring the darkness, the disgusting slush and snow, the biting cold, the tiredness, the lethargy, the undoing of all the good things that had been done a few months earlier?

“Eh…I mean the leaves are pretty, but not my favourite.”

“Yeah, it’s not the best farming season,” Maru nodded, and if only that was the only problem with it! “But hey, it doesn’t have to be that bad. There’s lots of things we can do. Like…play with that little robot in my room! He’s almost done.”

“I love that little guy!” Vanessa exclaimed, a burst of excitement rushing through her. “Every time I go into your room he makes me smile, he’s like, the cutest little nugget.” She had no idea why she had said the word nugget. It wasn’t something she usually said. It was weird; she regretted it already.

“Nugget,” Maru repeated, and oh gosh, see, it was weird. “You know, I’ve been meaning to give him a name for a while. I think that will do the trick!”

Vanessa’s jaw dropped. “R…really? You’d name one of your inventions after some s…random word I said?” She was going to say “stupid” because, well, she had come up with it, but she didn’t want to insult Maru’s taste in names.

“Yeah why not?” Maru asked. “Nugget’s important to me, and so are you.”

Oh. Well, then. Vanessa looked down at her dirty, worn-out shoes, the usual too-big stupid grin creeping onto her probably red face. At least it was dark outside. There were a million things she wanted to say at that moment, but the only thing that made it from her mind to her mouth was a soft-spoken “thank you.”

From all across the beach, there were sudden gasps. Vanessa looked up and her eyes fell upon a glowing white bright light, much more enticing than the light of the lantern, moving towards the shore. 

“They’re here!” Maru squealed excitedly. Demetrius – bless his soul – pulled out a notebook and pen and began to write frantically. Vanessa watched as the source of the light moved closer and closer to them in slow yet graceful bursts. She realized her breathing had become shallow; it was unlike anything she had ever seen. It was…magical, really, the way they made it seem like it wasn’t really dark. She had never seen anything do that before.

But then again, she guessed things might be a little different now. She had never had a person do that before, either.


End file.
